


Goodbye

by talesofsymphoniac



Series: Goodbye [1]
Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Game(s), Sormikweek2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:39:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7745380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsymphoniac/pseuds/talesofsymphoniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikleo finally goes through Sorey's belongings after he falls asleep and finds something he didn't expect.</p><p>Written a while back, publishing for Day Five of Sormik Week 2016: Creativity/Absence</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye

“Are you kidding? There’s a whole other area? I thought we were done,” Zaveid groused. Mikleo shared the sentiment, but he wasn’t about to complain. Securing the locations around the place Sorey would wait with Maotelus was of the utmost importance, and they weren’t going to slack off.

“Well, we’d better get started,” he said shortly, leaving no room for debate. Zaveid sighed, but acquiesced. Mikleo knew he was tired; he was, too. Rose, Lailah, and Edna had left after Rose made her pact with Lailah. Mikleo had tried to hide his visceral emotion at the idea of having a new Shepherd so soon, but he was pretty sure that Lailah had seen, because she was the one who suggested he and Zaveid stay behind to take care of Sorey.

Zaveid approached the entry into the unexplored area. “You got stuff for a map?”

Mikleo dug through his bag, looking for the notebook he used to etch out their progress in new areas. He had learned quite a bit about cartography in Elysia-- just another thing he’d studied to prepare him and Sorey to go out into the world. After a few minutes of digging, he stopped.

“It’s not here,” he said, puzzled.

“You sure?” Zaveid asked. “Know where you might have left it?”

Mikleo thought about it for a minute before he realized he knew exactly where it was. He turned away, not wanting Zaveid to see his face, but from the way Zaveid approached him, grabbing his shoulder, he knew he’d figured it out.

“It’s probably not that big of an area,” he suggested, and Mikleo knew he was being offered an out. But he couldn’t bring himself to take it. He shook his head.

“You can get started looking through it,” he said. “I’ll grab what I need.”

Zaveid gave his shoulder a quick squeeze and headed towards the area. “I’m on it,” he said casually, leaving Mikleo to make his way back to the corner that had become home base over the past month.

Taking a breath, he found the bag, _his_ bag, the one that hadn’t been touched since its owner had left it here. Holding it in his hands, he took a moment to glance at the column of light shining above him. _I miss you._

He turned his attention back to the bag. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought to himself. _It’s just a bag. I’m wasting time._ Still, when he finally moved to unhook the clasps that held it shut, he did it slowly and with more care than was probably warranted.

He located the notebook quickly, feeling an ache at the sight of Sorey’s belongings. His copy of the Celestial Record, bookmarked and covered with notes and highlighted spots that they’d been working on since they were kids. A bag of jerky for when he got hungry on the road. Various rings and trinkets they’d collected over the course of their journey that he’d wanted to research further when he had the time. Mikleo took the notebook and closed the bag. He’d be waiting quite a while.

Book in hand, he flipped through the pages, looking for the next blank ones. The beginning was filled with other handdrawn maps, sketches of interesting features in the ruins, notes about what they’d discovered there. While it was Mikleo’s notebook, Sorey had borrowed it so often to add his own notes and scribbles that it was really more like joint property. The same phenomenon had happened with Sorey’s copy of the Celestial Record, so Mikleo had decided it was a fair trade.

When he reached the most recent page, he found what Sorey had apparently taken the book to add. It was not a map, a sketch, or anything like the rest of the book.

It was a letter.

A letter to Mikleo.

Heart suddenly pounding, Mikleo looked up, half-expecting Zaveid to approach at any moment. When he was sure he was alone, he steadied his shaking hands and began to read.

 

_Dear Mikleo,_

_If you’re reading this, it means you survived the battle against Heldalf. Presumably that means I’m asleep with Maotelus._

_There are so many things I want to tell you, so many things I want to share with you. There just isn’t time. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to leave you alone. Once I return, I promise we’ll do everything we ever wanted to do. I’ll never leave your side again, not as long as I live. I hope that will be enough to be forgiven for all the hurt my actions have caused you._

_I never did apologize, did I, for trying to leave Elysia without you. It was the same reason I didn’t want you to be my Sub Lord, at first: I was afraid to put you in danger, to place what I thought was my burden on your shoulders. Even now, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that you won’t get to read this letter and it will be my fault. And I know you’ll say you’re prepared for that possibility, but I…_

_In any case, I should have known better, back then, to think I could keep you out of it all. It turns out you were better-prepared in many ways to take on the burden than I was. I still don’t know how much Gramps told you, but you knew I’d try to leave, and you were ready, always ready to follow my impulsive decisions, because somehow you figure out what I’m going to do even before I do, and you’re always prepared for it. Mikleo the Enforcer. It’s a fitting name, but still I’m sorry to have asked so much of you, to have made things so difficult. Which brings me to my point._

_Do you remember when I was sick for a week and you never left my side? Or when you stayed with me-- sorry, “read”-- after I made the Shepherd Pact with Lailah? I told you later that you could have gone out by yourself, and you refused._

_This time, Mikleo… go have your own adventure, so you can tell me all about it when I get back. You don’t have to sit around waiting for me this time. My dream-- our dream-- is carried on by you now. I can think of no one I’d trust more with the task._

_I guess what I’m trying to say is: Don’t miss me too much. I know that’s not something I can ask, since I already miss you and here you are, right next to me, fast asleep._

_You’re beautiful when you’re asleep. You’re beautiful when you’re awake, too, actually. I don’t think I ever told you that, but you are. Always have been._

_Actually, I know I never told you that, because… that’s just not something we say, right? We never really talked about it. And I know it’s not something I should say in a letter that you’ll read years before I get a chance to talk to you again, but I doubt I’ll get the chance to talk to you in private before I leave and I don’t think I can stand to leave it unspoken, to let you wait for me without knowing how much I love you._

_I love you, Mikleo. I think you must know that, because like I said, you’ve always known everything about me before I even manage to figure it out._ _I’ve loved you for a long time. Being with you has always been completely natural, something I never thought twice about. I don’t think I appreciated it, much less understood what it meant, until this journey. But I understand now._

_I love you, Mikleo, and I would love you every way that you want me to. Any way that would make you happy. Whatever you want from me, that’s what I want to give you, nothing more and nothing less._

_So for now, I’ll focus on purifying the continent so I can return to you. And when I do, I promise that I will never leave you again._

_Please keep yourself safe. Take care of Gramps. Don’t fight with Edna too much. Have adventures. Explore. Make our dream come true._

_I wish I could leave you with something longer, something happier. I wish I had more time. But when I return, we’ll have all the time in the world._

_Wait for me (I know you will),_

_All my love,_

_Sorey_

 

Mikleo read the letter once, wiping away tears that were immediately replaced by new ones before reading it again. And again. It was an unexpected gift, proof that Sorey had thought of him, had wanted to leave him something. Had loved him. He was nearly sobbing now, though he wasn’t entirely sad; he was a flurry of emotions, everything from joy to grief. He felt a stab of hurt at Sorey's mention of Gramps-- not everything had turned out as planned that day. He reread the paragraphs where Sorey talked about loving him and wished with all his heart that Sorey had been able to bring up the topic in person; it wasn’t fair that he had to wait so long before getting to say it back.

“I love you, too,” he said, looking to the light. He was surprised at how strong his voice sounded. “Of course I do.”

Looking back down at the book, Mikleo realized that he hadn’t yet reached the end of Sorey’s writings. He narrowed his eyes; the next page was more difficult to decipher. It was full of phrases, lists, many of them scribbled out and it took Mikleo a moment to figure out what it was. Suddenly it struck him, and he burst into a fit of laughter.

Sorey had been writing poetry. _Love_ poetry. Love poetry for _him._

“You dork,” Mikleo said to himself. He had stopped crying. Instead, a huge smile stretched on his face. Mikleo poured over Sorey’s attempts, laughing at the painful rhymes and the sickly sweet phrases, but though the final product was, in truth, _absolutely terrible_ , Mikleo adored every word of it. He could hear Sorey’s voice in the words, see him struggling with turns of phrase while Mikleo slept quietly beside him, all for him, so he could have this little piece of Sorey even after he was gone. For a moment, it was like Sorey was right there beside him.

“You find it, Mikleo?”

Mikleo turned abruptly. Zaveid looked slightly concerned, but also confused, likely surprised at finding Mikleo in the best mood he’d been in since Sorey left.

“Yeah,” Mikleo said. He carefully ripped out the pages that contained Sorey’s letter and poetry, neatly folding them and tucking them into his pocket, reminding himself to find a more secure place for them later. He stood up, tucking the notebook under his arm. “Let’s go.”


End file.
